WHO am I? What is my PURPOSE?!
These questions are constantly running through everyone’s heads; children and adults. If these thoughts are a constant struggle for adults, how should we think these questions would affect children? Adults have a better perception on the world, and what he or she can offer. Children have no idea what a “future” really means to them.
In the early stages of life, a child begins to learn who he or she is, what they want, and how they can test society regarding the rules. Many people call this behavior “acting out”, or “disrespectful behavior”.
As a baby, he or she will witness every little thing the mother, father, guardian, or any adult taking care of the baby, does. As the baby enters the toddler stage, he or she will begin to mimic everything they see or hear. They truly are sponges throughout this age range. There are terrible twos, treacherous threes…why? They are trying to express their needs, desires, discomforts, dislikes, love, attention, and even demanding more attention from us, in the only way they can express it. We have to truly be patient*, attentive, and really pay attention to their cues. The more we pay attention to their cues, the more likely we are to know what those outbursts mean, so that we can tend to those needs. However, children will just have moments of meltdowns, just because. That is when we have to express to them that it is okay to have those moments once in a while. Next, children turn into little humans who can do things on their own more, seek more independence, can help more around the house, wonder why they can’t always have it their way, and try to turn those no’s into yes’. Again, all about patience, and understanding their cues. This continues even into adulthood. We as adults will still test our boundaries, try to turn those no’s into yes’, have our little meltdowns, and just forget what we are truly about.
A parent’s role is extremely significant. It is up to the parents to help guide children along the way and to teach the child the appropriate and inappropriate ways to handle certain situations. Without proper guidance, children will just continue acting inappropriately, and become disrespectful adolescents and adults. I am sure you have all had an experience, or many, of a younger person talking rudely to you. “I’m more important than you,” or, “I know more than you.” Parents have to set their standards really high, so as to make sure their children are exceeding their potential. Some parents may think their strategies, or tactics, are helpful, but may actually be harmful. We, as human beings, are not perfect. We make mistakes everyday in life. Parenting is a million times harder, and we are all bound to make many mistakes along the way as well. But, as long as each of us can show a world of love, and realize we made those mistakes and try to fix them, our children will grow up, hopefully respecting the majority of our choices in raising them. I know I have. And when I was younger, I thought my parents had terrible ways of disciplining, and were extremely strict. I grew up realizing that they did the best they could, and made choices they thought were right at the time.
Some families are just not as well off as others. When I say this, I mean it in away that some families are broken; where mom and dad are no longer together, or they have blended families, or even suffer mental disorders due to the break in the family circle. PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a very common disorder among individuals who suffer from a spouse or significant others death. PTSD can also occur in individuals experiencing divorce, or break up when there are children involved. Separations in the family can be so terrifying, especially for the children, because money, material items, and children will be split among two people. Material items could be easier to split among others, because material items can be replaced. But a child is irreplaceable, and in the end, the child feels torn between two people…mom and dad. Sometimes resulting in feelings that the break is their fault.
Some families do not have the luxury to spend a lot of time together, due to the demand of having to work long hours almost every day, and have to be raised by another guardian, usually a nanny or other family member. There are some families that live paycheck to paycheck. This may cause the parents to become so overwhelmed with life, and become depressed, lash out at their children in return, or participate in the temporary relief of substance abuse. And there are some families who fall in the bracket of working too much, and have no knowledge of the kind of friends their child or children are hanging out with.
My next blog will go into more detail about how much influence I believe friends have on children.
I can write a book about how family life can make such an impact on how a child blossoms, but I will break my thoughts up over time. I know we all have a life to live and children to tend to. Mines are asleep at the moment! 😉 shhhh…
*What was that? You can’t be patient with little humans? Me either…a lot of the times! However, my defense mechanism, is breathe deeply in, breathe out, count to ten, and go back to them again. No one ever said life is easy. Forget life not being easy…PARENTING is DEFINITELY not easy! Just remember, we could be in a better place, or we could be in a worse place. Either way, I wouldn’t want my lifestyle turned upside down, because I wouldn’t have these daily challenges, or funny memories. Yes, we will end up laughing at many of these experiences that drive us to insanity in the end…I PROMISE!
Leave a Reply