First and foremost…there are big differences to both terms in this topic title. Broken families can be normal families, and normal families can be broken. I will be discussing the difference in this post.
In today’s society, and since I am working in schools, I find myself having to watch what questions I ask about my students’ families. I do not want to stir up emotions, anger, or misinterpretation.
There are many families that are different from our past generations. I still know or hear of some couples making it to 50 or even 75 years together. Today, I find it harder to find more couples even making it to 10 years being together.
Children come from different backgrounds due to divorce, deceased parent(s), adoption, and even accidental pregnancies leaving the child with just one parent or multiple parents from blended families. Now, there is nothing necessarily wrong with these situations. Especially when it works better to be apart than staying together for the kids. Everyone will suffer even more. However, when that parent, or those parents, do not fill their shoes as a positive parent, it can truly leave a very negative impact on the children involved. It seems that as the days pass, there are less responsible, reliable, and trustworthy beings in this world. Relationships seem to have a new meaning than what it did 50 years ago. The concept of love seems different as well. People are raised differently, with different beliefs; and you have the media portraying their own views of what is or isn’t love, and finally, media also shows that it is easier to walk away from a problem than just working to make things right. It really is easier to work on problems with those you love, than to just find another person that may make you more happier, and eventually end up being in the same position again.
With that said, every relationship is different. Many people grow apart and cannot find their way back. Many couples have that one person that will fight harder to make things work, yet just end up unsuccessful. The struggle is real!
The couple hurts through these break ups. But they can eventually move on…unless they have children involved. They will have to see each other and talk to each other all of the time. Can you imagine your worst enemy having to be in your life everyday? Sometimes that what happens in these situations. Imagine if they stay together for the kids? Unbearable tension in the air. Those kids will feel it, I promise you. It will cause negative outcomes for everyone. Or if the two hate each other, they may continue to fight, or talk bad about the other in front of the child(ren). The kids hurt the most in these situations, because they started seeing love as they grew up (some may not have if the couple broke up before the child was old enough to understand – but now may lack being around a loving relationship between two people), and now they see negativity. What happens when you are constantly around negativity? You become negative. What happens when people are constantly positive? The feelings and atmosphere are positive and happy.
Broken families are those who endure any form of abuse in a relationship; verbal, mental, physical, sexual abuse, adultery, money problems that hurt the family, lies, and so much more. Anything that can ruin a person, and the family all at the same time. The parents could be together and still go through any of the above and send their children into turmoil. The kids suffer the most here…because how they are brought up, and what they witness the majority of the time, they think it is the way they should be or act. Many kids end up finding another person just as negative and repeat this vicious cycle all over again, because they were never shown the positives in life.
A normal family could be that of any family…together or not…that have a solid, positive environment for each other and the children. A mother could have remarried and lived in another state, but still make things work out perfectly where it would not affect the child(ren) negatively. Or the dad could have had two more relationships and another child, and as long as there is more positive influence, love, and support, the child(ren) would still grow up in a positive environment. Helping children learn to cope with the world and it’s problems in a positive way, helps mold them into reliable, trustworthy, and responsible human beings.
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