I was just having a conversation the other day with another mom, and we were talking about how kids behave today. I don’t know where the respect is anymore that children once displayed in past generations. Some think it is the lack of authoritative discipline. Back then, if kids did not listen or were disrespectful in any way, they got a spanking…or the term, “whooping.”
I was always against any physical kind of discipline. I am a mom of two, who now will give an occasional spanking. Sometimes, when the parent gives too many warnings, or tries to redirect the negative behavior, the technique doesn’t always work. There are many programs on television, or even now at schools, with kids calling the police because they were “abused.” Due to this mentality, it seems that kids have the upper hand when a parent tries to discipline. It hurts parents too because they don’t want to deal with Child Protective Services or have their kids taken away. How about focusing on those kids who have negligent parents, parents who are addicted to substances or can put their children at risk, or those parents who actually ABUSE their children? There are too many children in the system waiting for a family to care for them, or too many children waiting for adoption.
If a parent threatens their child about taking away a game system, television, play date, or something materialistic, the child will think, “that’s fine…I will get it later.” Then after a while, the children tend to do the behavior again. Sometimes, without even realizing it. I know a few kids who have told me previously, they get spankings (or they will actually use the term “whooping”) and they get scared. They think back about that and change their minds quicker to do the right thing again. I even heard kids tell me that if their parents were told they were being disrespectful, the mom or dad would just send them to their room and they would play their video game. A student telling their teacher, “Go ahead, tell my parents, they won’t care or do anything.”
Being a psychology major, especially regarding caring for children’s misbehavior, I have learned so many things about being positive, just guiding them to do what is right, or redirection. Sometimes though, it all doesn’t work. I have sent so many kids to behavior management rooms or the principal’s office. I also realize techniques won’t always work at home having two children of my own. You can give them all the positive reinforcement and love, but sometimes you need to be a little more mean.
Remember, kids need a parent, not a friend. Sometimes how we will approach the situations will hurt us more than them. One strategy or technique to correct misbehavior or disrespect today, will not work tomorrow. We have to have patience and know that changes have to happen everyday. AND lastly, we HAVE to model the correct behavior to them. This is how they learn. One parent could do everything right until they are blue in the face, but if the other parent is not on the same page, there is no consistency. The child will use that as ammunition to walk over those parents or cause fights between the parents.
Leave a Reply